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The Road To The FWA Convention -- A Long, Strange Journey

10/29/2014

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Last weekend marked my first author's convention, hosted by the Florida Writers Association at the Lake Mary Marriott. I met all sorts of new and interesting people on this trip - authors, pizza chefs, zombie survival store owners (seriously!). I learned plenty, and it was loads of fun. But looking back, I'm at a loss for words to describe that whirlwind of a weekend, so I'll borrow a few from The Grateful Dead: "What a long, strange trip it's been..."
Friday, October 24, 2014
The road to the convention began on Friday night. I left the office late and took some work home that absolutely needed to get done before the weekend. Hours later, it was "mission accomplished", but there was hardly time to celebrate. The clock on my PC's screen showed 11:00 p.m., a scant five hours from "rise and shine" at 4:00 a.m. the following morning. And then there was that nagging thought that I hadn't yet packed my bags - worse, I realized I had no bags to pack. Even if I'd set out my clothes, I'd have nowhere to put them for the trip.

It was too late in the evening to lose sleep over luggage. I set my alarm to go off an hour earlier so I'd have more time to figure things out in the morning.
Saturday, October 25, 2014 - Hitting The Road
I jolted awake. The clock at my bedside showed 2:57 a.m. I'd been asleep for a few hours but it felt like hardly a blink. Typical. I switched the clock's buzzer off before its alarm triggered and got to work.

I took a quick stock of what I needed: comfy clothes, business clothes for the convention, my promotional material, and travel toiletries. I slung the comfy clothes on and zipped the business clothes up in a garment bag. Everything else was stuffed into a tiny knapsack. After a banana and a cup of coffee for breakfast, I was road-ready in fifteen minutes. Within another twenty I was at my friend Chris's house. He and I hit the expressway by 4:30 a.m.
Saturday, October 25, 2014 - Arrival At The Convention
It was full daylight by the time we pulled up to the Lake Mary Marriott. We'd arrived just in time, too - we had scarcely an hour to get checked-in and set up for my author event at 11:00 a.m. We changed into our business clothes and signed up, then started unpacking the promo gear out of the trunk of my car.

In the short span of about two hours, I think I beat my previous record for most introductions made in a single day. The amount of hand-shaking performed can only be described as "carpal-tunnel-inducing". All kidding aside, it was a wonderful opportunity to meet and learn from talented authors and other individuals passionate about the craft of writing.

Chris and I regrouped for lunch, then explored the hotel and soaked in the pool a bit. It had been a long day, and the high point of the trip - the awards banquet - was yet to come.
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Saturday, October 25, 2014 - The Awards Banquet
A reception in the hotel lounge preceded the banquet. Chris helped himself to a well-deserved whiskey on the rocks, and I joined him in one. Then, at 7:00 p.m., we took our seats in the main hall. We were treated to a fantastic three-course meal: a crisp salad to start, an entree of fresh grouper and wild rice, and then dessert - a towering three-tier cylindrical confection consisting of a brownie topped with chocolate cheesecake topped with chocolate mousse, with raspberry drizzle between layers. Coffee service followed. I had two cups. I'd been up nearly eighteen hours by then, and was starting to drag my feet.
The awards ceremony commenced once dinner was through. An expectant hush fell upon everyone in attendance as the mistress of ceremonies took the podium. One by one, the winners in each category were called. Each winner's photo lit up on the hall's projector screens  as he or she took the stage to accept the award.

Chris nudged my elbow when the humor category was called. My heart leapt into my throat when second place was announced - there was no third place this year, so it was an all-or-nothing shot. I sighed when my name wasn't called for second place. While I didn't come out to the conference just for an award, the thought had crossed my mind that it would be nice to take one home.

I thumbed through the program as first place was announced. It took all of the first sentence for me to register that the announcer was reading the synopsis of my book. My jaw dropped. I elbowed Chris a little harder than I should have (I was excited, can you blame me?) and pointed to the projector screen by the stage. It was my face on the screen.

You can't imagine my surprise. Heck, I can't, and it happened to me. My novel won first place.
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Sunday, October 26, 2014 - Autographs, Pizza, And Zombies
Bright and early Sunday morning came too bright and too early. We'd been up until around midnight the day before (for a total of twenty-one hours up), and waking at 6:00 a.m. felt brutal. After breakfast, the convention organizers had arranged a winners' table - a meet-and-greet for all award winners - and yours truly was in attendance.
By 10:30 we were packed up and on the road. We stopped at Giordano's Pizzeria for a famous Chicago-style stuffed pizza.

Note: the pizza in the photo is not to scale; the real thing is actually much bigger. In fact, the pizza our waiter deposited on our table was about three inches deep. Were it any deeper, local building authorities might mistake it for a small swimming pool and require the erection of a fence around its perimeter to prevent animals and small children from drowning.

Seriously, though, this thing is delicious.
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Courtesy of Giordano's Pizzeria
6203 West Sand Lake Road, Orlando, FL 32819
After lunch we figured we'd kill some time. We had a long drive ahead of us, and so we stretched our legs a bit before heading out again. That's when we came across this particular establishment, The Zombie Survival Store, in the same shopping center as Giordano's restaurant.

At first blush, the store looks like any army-navy surplus outlet, except that its theme is preparation for the coming zombie apocalypse. It's fully stocked with just about everything an outdoorsman - or zombie hunter - might need... except zombies. Those you have to find yourself.
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Courtesy of The Zombie Survival Store
6203 West Sand Lake Road #D, Orlando, FL 32819
We pulled into Miami at around 6:00 p.m., following a non-stop four-four ride down the turnpike. I dropped Chris off at his place and headed home. It was lights-out for me on arrival - I took a shower and went to bed.

Unpacking could wait until Monday.
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Gullwing Odyssey Wins First Place, Royal Palm Literary Award

10/29/2014

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There you have it, ladies and gents: the First Place, 2014 Royal Palm Literary Award with my name and novel on its front. Writing this post was not easy - I'm still speechless about the whole deal - but there you have it.

The Royal Palm Literary Award is a premier statewide awards contest, "established to recognize excellence in members’ published and pre-published works", and is administered by the Florida Writers Association.

The Gullwing Odyssey took first place in the category of Humor/Satire, published books, on October 25, 2014.
Interested In A Copy? Click Here
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The Blurb: What's It All About?

10/17/2014

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So you just finished your writing project. Good job, but this is no time to put your pen down, as there's still more writing to be done. And if you think writing a 90,000 word project is tough, try condensing that work into ten sentences. Yes, you read that right: ten sentences. Technical types call this tight little brick of text the "book description", but most others call it the "blurb". 
The Blurb Defined
The blurb is a key selling point for your book. It's the brief description on your book's back cover -- emphasis on brief. Many readers browse books, which is to say they skim the blurbs. To be effective, your blurb needs to: (1) hook the reader, (2) get the point of your book across, and (3) leave the reader wanting more.
Hooking The Reader
You can think of a hook as either of the following: an instrument to catch fish, or a sweeping punch to the jaw. Regardless of the definition, a hook is something that quickly gets someone's attention.

The hook is the single most important element. No matter how captivatingly brilliant your work may be, no one will read it if you fail to snag potential readers at first blush. It should be one of the first -- if not the first -- things the reader sees. Thus, you'd better make it a great one.

A well-written hook does more than demand attention. It reaches out and shakes the reader by the collar of his shirt. It's probably also the hardest element on which to offer advice. It helps to have a firm understanding of your work and other books in your genre when writing a compelling hook. Ultimately, your hook needs to pique the reader's interest.
Getting The Point Across
It is not possible, nor is it a good idea, to give away your whole story in the blurb. You need to ask yourself: "What are the most important parts of my work?" It helps to liken your blurb to the preview for a Hollywood movie. If you were a film editor, your task would be to parse out your movie's most salient moments and then splice them together into a clip that encapsulates your work. Movies nowadays run for about two hours, and you've got to distill yours down to a filmstrip of about thirty seconds. Your work as a writer is tougher even than that, because your blurb should take no longer than fifteen seconds to read

As an aside, you may get those fifteen seconds if your hook was effective. You won't get anywhere near that if it's not.

You must clearly identify your book's genre, theme, and salient plot points. Give your readers a taste of what to expect, but don't give it all away. There's something to be said about about suspense, and Alfred Hitchcock said it best: "There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it."

Don't be so quick to pull that trigger. Your readers will want to do that all on their own. You'd be doing them a disservice if you didn't let them.
Leave Them Wanting More
Let's get something clear: your blurb is not a summary. It is not an outline. It is not a synopsis. These three tools will not substitute for a blurb. The blurb helps you sell your story. Your readers expect your story to have a beginning, a middle, and an end, as much as fast-food connoisseurs would expect a certain double cheeseburger to have "two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce..." well, you know the drill.

On the other hand, a blurb is expected to be open-ended. But, like your opening, make sure you leave a hook at the tail end. Why two hooks? Any angler will tell you there's a reason why fishing jigs often come with more than one hook -- you've a better chance of catching fish that way.
The Blurb, Illustrated
Below I've reproduced the blurb for The Gullwing Odyssey, along with comments to illustrate the steps outlined above.
Marco’s life as a messenger isn’t great, but the work is easy and he gets retirement pay in thirty years. Little does he know his life teeters on the cusp of change.
There's your hook. The blurb starts by describing Marco's mundane life, then foreshadows a sudden 180-degree twist.
When an unusual assignment sends him overseas, he finds himself stranded in foreign lands. With no way home and no hope of making his delivery, he sees sour prospects for attaining his modest retirement dreams, much less getting out of the whole mess alive. Even that wouldn’t be so bad if he weren’t constantly outrunning pirates, embroiled in international intrigue, and attacked by a hummingbird with an appetite for human brains – that’s just the start of his misadventures.
There's what the book is about -- a simple guy who gets wrapped up in a giant mess not of his making, and his struggle just to get by. The genre is fantasy with comedic elements. Things to expect: pirates, politics, and deadly hummingbirds. 
But lurking in the wings is a much greater threat than getting sacked from his job. The fate of an entire civilization may well rest upon his scrawny shoulders. In spite of himself and quite by accident, Marco may yet become the hero he strives not to be.
"But wait, there's more!" you can almost hear the television pitchman say. Well, there's a whole lot more, in fact, without saying as much, and if your readers want to find out what happens next they'll have to buy your book. Note the last line -- there's your closing hook. And if you're feeling persnickety you can count my sentences. There are eight. I've successfully boiled an 88,000 word novel down to its core in under ten sentences. It wasn't easy, I assure you, but it was worth it.
Get To It!
Take it from me, the last thing I'd want to do after wrapping up a long project is write the blurb, but the fact is that you can't sell even your first book without a good one. Hook your reader. Get to the point. Make it interesting. That's a lot of chainsaws to juggle at once, and although you only have two hands, juggle you must.

On an unrelated note, that part about juggling dangerous gas-powered tools was a figure of speech, so please don't attempt to juggle chainsaws.

Have fun (and be safe) writing!
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Author Meet And Greet: Orlando Marriott Lake Mary Hotel

10/3/2014

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The Florida Writers Association will host its annual conference next week at the Orlando Marriott Lake Mary Hotel. If you happen to be in Central Florida on either October 25th and 26th, swing by. 

Author Meet & Greet: Orlando Marriott Lake Mary
When: Saturday, October 25th, from 11:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m.
Where: Orlando Marriott Lake Mary Hotel
Address: 1501 International Parkway, Lake Mary, FL 32746
Location: Table #1

My hosts have been so kind as to offer me an author's table for Saturday the 25th. If you come out to see me on Saturday, I'll be at table #1 for a half-hour starting at 11:00 a.m. After that, you can still catch me out and about at the convention. I'd be happy to sign autographs, pose for photos, and chat.

See you then!

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    Antonio Simon, Jr. is a lawyer and author. When he’s not in court or writing, he's driving fast in moments in between.

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