Let's face it -- adventuring is not the safest of professions. Even the best of adventurers get hurt. And if the length of their injury list is any measure, the characters of The Gullwing Odyssey are by far not the best of adventurers.

While an exhaustive list of their injuries would be tedious, I've posted some of the more interesting ones. These come courtesy of Dr. Desmoulin Jonas's medical clinic -- "handy enough with a scalpel to be your surgeon, barber, and tailor!"

Broken nose -- killer hummingbird
Facial bruising -- leapt through a pub window
Severe chest contusion  -- wild animal attack
Cracked ribs -- wild animal attack
Abdominal impalement -- airship crash-landing
Blunt trauma to side of head -- struck with flat of a sword

Severe nervous trauma -- extreme verbal abuse
Crumpled snout -- bashed with a shield
Bruised talons -- punched an assailant
Full-body first degree burns -- magic spell
Electrocution -- magic spell

Facial laceration -- wild animal attack
Internal hemorrhaging -- walking into a hail of bullets
Broken ribs -- point-blank gunshot wound
Facial contusions -- group beating

Flesh wound -- glancing pistol shot
Mild abdominal contusion -- kicked by a man on a horse

Three teeth knocked out -- biting an assailant
Facial contusions -- group beating
Black eye -- group beating
Life-threatening abdominal laceration -- dueling injury
Bruised ribs -- magic spell
Fractured clavicle -- gunshot wound

Abdominal impalement -- crossbow bolt
Assorted bumps and bruises -- crashing his airship into a warship below
Head trauma -- musket butt to the back of the head
Blunt facial trauma -- group beating
Two teeth knocked out -- severe beating

Want to see just what sort of trouble this motley group of misfits get into (and out of)? Check out The Gullwing Odyssey. It's a fantasy/comedy adventure of epic proportions, and not your typical swords and sorcery novel. Expect spectacular magic. Expect plenty of laughs. But above all, expect the unexpected.

Click the book cover image for more information.

Want to read some sample chapters? Sample the first three chapters for free.

And now, an important message from my publisher, Darkwater Syndicate:

Darkwater Syndicate is turning six, but it's you who'll get the presents. Up for grabs is a treasure trove of paperbacks (a $50 value), which will go out to one lucky winner by random drawing. Each will be personally autographed by the author, making them instant collector's items. The winner will also be featured on the front page of our website.

To enter the drawing, purchase any Darkwater Syndicate ebook from Amazon for one chance to win, or purchase all three ebooks for two chances. Then, email us your name and your Amazon proofs of purchase. To be valid, the purchases must be dated between today and May 31, 2014.

The pictures below link directly to the ebooks' listings on Amazon. Click on them to explore unique literary experiences the likes of which you won't find anywhere else.

Enjoy, and good luck!

Didn't think I'd need to "spell" that out (bad pun, I know), but if you ever thought proper spelling wasn't important, have a look at the image below.

Part of the fun of writing is having fun with the language. Like bad science jokes (scientists tell the corniest jokes), it's something you can't fully appreciate unless you've got a firm grasp of the subject. For instance, the word: unionize. The same spelling carries disparate meanings in different disciplines, and the only clue as to which is intended is how the word is pronounced -- unionize versus un-ionize. Thus, if you're a chemist, that word means something different than what you would think if you were a plumber instead, as illustrated below.